Last week we went over the ‘Rules for Holy Living’ and I feel that Paul wrote that portion before the portion we are looking at today for a reason. If we are living ‘holy’ then we will treat our relationships with others with the respect and love they deserve. To give up your rights, your need to be important, to be first, to be in control is not easy unless you are living ‘holy’.
Today, as we continue our walk through Colossians, we are looking at the portion in chapters 3:18 to 4:6. This is all about relationships and I think God timed it so that this message comes just before Valentine’s Day – a day focused on relationships.
In preparation for some difficult tasks given by Paul in this passage, I want to point out to you an important verse:
Luke 1:37 NIV
‘For nothing is impossible with God.’
Also, a combined quote from William Carey and the Carey Institute:
Ask Great Things of God,
Expect Great Things From God,
Attempt Great Things For God!
Ephesians 5:21 NIV
21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
The NIV Study Bible states that in each relationship, each partner can have a conciliatory attitude that will help the relationship. The grammar indicates that this mutual submission is associated with the filling of the Spirit. 1
Colossians 3:18-4:6 NIV
18 Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
Ephesians 5:22-24 NIV
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Saviour.
24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
The NIV Study Bible continues with: ‘To submit meant to yield one’s own rights.’ Also, ‘as to the Lord’ does not put a woman’s husband in the place of the Lord, but shows that a woman ought to submit to her husband as an act of submission to the Lord. 2
1 Peter 3:1-2 NIV
1 Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives,
2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.
19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.
Ephesians 5:25-33 NIV
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,
27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.
28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church—
30 for we are members of his body.
31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” [Gen.2:24]
32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.
33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
1 Peter 3:7 NIV
7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
Eerdmans Handbook to the Bible, commenting on Ephesians 5:21-6:9, says ‘The Christian wife gives her husband complete respect and loyalty. The Christian husband cares for his wife with unselfish, undemanding love. Each depends on the other, and both model themselves on Christ. Their relationship, in turn, reflects the relationship between Christ and the church.’ 3
20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
Paul is encouraging children to please the Lord by obeying their parents. I would add the idea of children asking God to give wisdom to their parents before asking their parents for any decision, and then telling their parents that they will obey since it is God’s direction.
21 Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.
Notice, this is addressed to fathers. We fathers tend to be disciplinarians, but we should not behave like petty tyrants.4 We need to constantly seek the Lord’s wisdom when dealing with our children. We must surrender any right we may feel we have to act unreasonably toward our children. 5
22 Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to curry their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord.
Remember, Paul is talking to Christian servants and slaves. If they were not Christians, they would have no reason to have reverence for the Lord.
Smith’s Bible Dictionary tells us: The circumstances under which a Hebrew might be reduced to servitude were:
23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters,
This verse is one we all need to memorize as it applies to everything we do – physical and emotional, work and relationships. When you do it for Jesus, you focus on Him and not those around you.
24 since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.
This inheritance is eternal life with God, full of joy and His presence.
25 Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for their wrongs, and there is no favoritism.
Consequences apply no matter who you are. God loves us all and will treat us all the same in discipline. This is repeated in this next verse in a positive vein.
Colossians 4: 1-6 NIV
1 Masters, provide your slaves with what is right and fair, because you know that you also have a Master in heaven.
This verse reminds us that just as we are masters to those under our authority, we are under God’s authority and want Him to provide us with what is right and fair.
Also, Paul puts extra emphasis on the master/slave relationship since the slave, Onesimus, is going with Tychicus to deliver this letter to the Colossians.
2 Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.
To be a strong, healthy and alive church, we must spend time in prayer – individually and as a family. Prayer time is to be watchful and thankful – watch for God’s answer and thank Him for the answer.
3 And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains.
4 Pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as I should.
5 Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity.
These three verses show Paul’s mission and passion. He clearly wants to take every opportunity to share Christ’s gospel message, and we should do the same.
6 Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.
Smith’s Bible Dictionary gives us this view of salt:
‘Indispensable as salt is to us, it was even more so to the Hebrews, being to them not only an appetizing condiment in the food and a valuable antidote to the effects the heat of the climate on animal food, but also entering largely into the religious services of the Jews as an accompaniment to the various offerings presented on the alter. (Lev. 2:13) They possessed an inexhaustible and ready supply of it on the southern shores of the Dead sea….As one of the most essential articles of diet, salt symbolized hospitality; as an antiseptic, durability, fidelity and purity’. 8
Jesus (in Matthew 5: 13 NIV) said:
13 “You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.”
Ephesians 4:29 NIV
29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
Holy living brings holy behavior and talk. When we talk to people, it should encourage and uplift them. Remember that what you say is for those hearing and not to make you sound good.
This is a great passage for all of us to reread many times. Paul is speaking from his heart to those who have found Christ. He is encouraging, reminding, and correcting their behavior, all in one letter.
As it is Valentine’s week, here are two questions us men can ask our wives and respond to show our love for them.
Ask, “How can I support you today?”
“How can I make your day better?” 9
For that matter, we could all use these two questions in all our relationships. Whether husband or wife, child or parent, master or slave, or a friend, teacher, caregiver, volunteer – these are good starts to working for God!
Praise the Lord!
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