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Be True to Your Husband or Wife

Date: October 28, 2018/Speaker: Pastor Terry Coe/Comments: 0
Today my message is entitled “Be True to Your Husband or Wife”. This is from the Sunday School material being used right now. We are looking at each of these commandments in a series of sermons and Sunday School lessons. Parents and children will be looking at the same subject each week.

Last week we discussed the 6th Commandment in a message titled “Say No to Violence, Say Yes to Life” Now we are going to discuss the 7th Commandment in Exodus 20:14You Shall Not Commit Adultery.”

As I went through different versions of the Bible and looked at the way other authors have worded this commandment, I found some interesting titles.

“Keep your marriage promises,” “Be true to your husband or wife,” “Honor your spouse,” “Do not commit adultery,” “Keep your commitments to your marriage partner,”

In today’s society, it is all about freedom to do whatever you want. Freedom to jump from relationship to relationship or marriage to marriage. Commitment seems to have a short shelf life or short time span. The idea of a lifetime commitment to a husband or wife has become “unreal.” Multiple sexual partners is deemed “okay” and even somewhat expected. TV shows are proliferated with affairs and one-night stands like it is normal.

When God gave this commandment to the people of Israel, He did it to give them a way to live that brought harmony and growth and love. God knew His people had fallen into temptation and many were destroying their families with their discontent and loose approach to commitment. There is a consequence to adultery, as we see in these next few verses from God’s Word, the Bible. First, a definition of adultery:

NIV Study Bible: Adultery – a sin “against God” as well as against the marriage partner. 1

Hebrews 13:4 NIV

4 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

Leviticus 20:10 NIV

10If a man commits adultery with another man’s wife – with the wife of his neighbor- both the adulterer and the adulteress must be put to death.”

There are many similar passages in the Old Testament which dictate death as the consequence of adultery. Here are some from other verses and authors.

Proverbs 6:32 NIV

32But a man who commits adultery lacks judgment; whoever does so destroys himself.

Matthew 5:27-28 NIV

27 You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’

28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

The Billy Graham Christian Worker’s Handbook asks us to consider some of the consequences of adultery.

*Emotional: guilt, fear, anxiety, loss of self-esteem, shattered personalities, depression, etc.

*Physical: Illegitimate pregnancies and births, venereal diseases, and abortions.

*Spiritual: loss in this life and in that which is to come.

Mr. Graham writes: “How many homes are broken because of men and women who are unfaithful! …God will not hold you guiltless! 2(pg. 24)

He continues with:

“You should expect no easy solutions in dealing with the problem of adultery. However, God can work the miracle of new birth for the non-Christian and spiritual renewal for His own who have fallen away. 3

1 Cor 6:18-20 NIV

18 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually, sins against his own body.

19 Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;

20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body. 

I like the way the KJV puts this next verse – it helps to get the real intent of forgiveness.

Proverbs 28:13 KJV

“He that covereth his sins shall not prosper; but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy.”

Ephesians 4:32 NIV

32 “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you”.

John 8:2-11 NIV

2 At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them.

3 The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group

4 and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery.

5 In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?”

6 They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him. But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger.

7 When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.”

8 Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.

9 At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there.

10 Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”

11 “No one, sir,” she said.

“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.” 

Now let’s look at God’s intent for marriages.

The Bible Reader’s Companion gives us this statement:

“The integrity of relationships is critical in the covenant community; the faithfulness of a man and woman to each other reflects the faithfulness of God to His people.” 4

Marriage requires many components. Here are a few found in The Billy Graham Christian Worker’s Handbook:

Mutual Respect – Distinguishes between the ideal and the real, and does not demand too much.

Genuine Commitment – The marriage vow says, “Forsaking all others.”

Good Communication – There must be conversation, not only a discussion of differences when such arise, but a meaningful exchange on the intellectual and emotional levels.

Time and Effort – Love must be given the opportunity to mature. When the going gets rough, a couple just doesn’t “fall out of love”; they stay together and work things out.5

Robert J. Morgan, in his book “Nelson’s Book of Stories”, gives us these thoughts:

“The simplest prescription for a good marriage contains only two points:

1.) Walk with the Master – 1 John 1:7a NIV

But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another.”

2.) Work on the marriage – Colossians 3: 23a NIV

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart.”

“Marriages are made in heaven, but we are responsible for the maintenance work.” 6

God’s command is “Do not commit adultery.” We are made in God’s image, we are God’s children and we can go directly to God for help in times of temptation. Please remember all this if you ever are tempted to commit adultery. May God bless every one of your marriages and keep them strong.

BIBLIOGRAPHY
  • The Experiencing God Study Bible (Broadman & Holman Publishers, Nashville, Tennessee, 1994)
  • The NIV Study Bible, 10th Anniversary Edition Copyright © (Zondervan Publishing House, Grand Rapids, MI, 1995) All rights reserved
  • The Holy Bible, authorized King James Version (World Bible Publishers, USA)
  • Robert J. Morgan, Nelson’s Book of Stories, Illustrations & Quotes (Thomas Nelson Publishers, Nashville, Tenn., 2000)
  • Lawrence O. Richards, The Bible Readers Companion (Halo Press, Ottenheimer Publishers Inc., Owing Mills, MD, 1991)
  • The Billy Graham Christian Worker’s Handbook (World Wide Publications, Minneapolis, Minnesota, 1984)
REFERENCES
  • 1NIV Study Bible, pg. 115
  • 2The Billy Graham Christian Worker’s Handbook, pg. 24
  • 3The Billy Graham Christian Worker’s Handbook, pg. 25
  • 4The Bible Reader’s Companion, pg. 64
  • 5The Billy Graham Christian Worker’s Handbook, pg. 174
  • 6Robert J. Morgan, pg. 529

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